In an attempt to quash those gay rumours once and for all, Guy Sebastian has married “long-time love” Jules Egan. In September 2006, the original Australian Idol winner revealed he was on the verge of quitting the industry after relentless scrutiny over his sexuality and other matters that are no one’s business but his own.

To then flog the exclusive rights for all the wedding details (bar some, I hope) to New Idea - who did him no favours by picking up the story and running with it - for $200,000 seems a bit hypocritical. But hey, that money would go some way to easing the pain of being slandered to his fan base of retirees and stay-at-home mums.

Of course, I wouldn’t be quite so greedy. Feel free to slander me for ten bucks and a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, when the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky. I love that.

50 Cent (or “Fiddy” as he’s known to his close friends, entourage, fans, wannabes etc) was recently in Australia for a series of concerts. He was spotted by a friend of my in the Qantas lounge at Sydney airport, checking his own website. That’s fine ‘Tash - I check my own websites on a compulsively-regular basis. However, as she pointed out, I don’t have my own song as a ringtone. That is, I had to agree, a sign of narcissistic personality disorder (defined, for those who don’t know, as “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.”)

It would be easy to write off most rappers as self-aggrandizing nobodies with nothing substantial to say, but I’m not one to broadly generalize about a genre I don’t really listen to. To be honest, it seems these days that the “gangster rap” “bling and bitches” style seems (thankfully) to be on the decline. Maybe its just because I don’t listen to commercial radio, go to mainstream clubs, or watch top 40 video shows, but if it is the case, it would be a welcome relief.

That’s not to say rappers don’t still like to party. South Australian boys, the Hilltop Hoods, have been throwing the same party every show for the last four years. Zing! Take that Hilltop Hoods. Maybe that’s a bit harsh, but I have seen them a bunch of times, and they do pretty much the same set with the same crowd participation every time.

But let’s look at the positives. Rappers like Kayne West, Lupe Fiasco, Mos Def and Wyclef Jean have impressed me with the things they have to say. Well, Kayne may display a touch of NPD on occasions, but who am I to judge?

And a lot of Aussie hip hop seems to display a sense of awareness and community. Artists like Urthboy, Bliss and Eso, The Herd, and yes, even the Hilltops at times have things worth listening to.

I heard an unsigned rapper called “Rapaport” on the Triple J Unearthed website recently and was immediately struck by his message. The lyrics are simplistic at times (”They say killing people will get rid of evil / It ain’t gonna work, they’re just making it worse”) but his message and aware of current world events (”From the way the CIA first funded Osama / To free trade laws that hurt the third world farmer”) is not only impressive, but commendable.

If only we heard more Dead Prez and less Fiddy on the radio…

Right now, I’m not feeling quite so smug. As I mentioned earlier, my l33t hax0r skillz allowed me to jump the queue at Oztix, but this year tickets are being sold by some jokers called Qjump. I guess it was destined to happen after the fiasco that was ticket sales last year.

In an effort to prevent scalpers ruining it for everyone, this year again names and dates of birth must accompany your ticket order. I do think it’s a good idea - as Splendour is a once off event with only 17,500 tickets available, and people travel from around the country to attend. Last year, the tickets sold out in 4 hours. It would have been faster, except both the Oztix website and the phone systems went into meltdown.

Another initiative the Splendour crew are implementing is the offering of Green (or carbon offset) tickets. Last year, for an extra $7, you got to neutralise your travel emissions to and from the show, and to and from the venue. 31% of Splendour punters (that’s 5,425 people) put their money where their mouth is and opted to buy a Green Ticket.

This year, the Green Ticket goes one step further and allows you to neutralise your average carbon emissions over a 48 hour period (not just your travel emissions). Apparently Australians generate on average a total of 28 tonnes of greenhouse gas emissions or 77kg a day. Purchasing a Green Ticket this year will neutralise 144kg  of carbon (i.e. covering two days) making you climate neutral for the duration of the show.

The goal is to eventually make Splendour 100% carbon neutral, which should go a ways to appeasing the locals. Byron is a funny little place - the community thrives on tourism, but the locals certainly don’t like the fact that it is constantly inundated by outsiders. It’s a local town, for local people - reminds of that creepy shop from The League of Gentlemen.

Last year was supposed to be the last Splendour in the Grass at Belongil Fields, as that 47 acres of prime real estate has been sold to developers. In order to keep the event in its beautiful traditional surrounds, the festival organisers have joined with a collective of people (investors?) and purchased 650 acres of land in Yelgun only 15 minutes away.

However, the environmental impact of staging a festival at the new grounds is still being debated (even though Splendour has impeccable environment credentials) so this year, Splendour returns to Belongil Fields for almost certainly the final time.

Popular music has always been a popular medium for expressing one’s political views. I’m sure you’ve been subjected to the opinions of Bob Dylan, Bono, Paul Kelly or Peter Garrett (MP). For better or for worse, these people are using their celebrity to push a message.

As far back is the 1700s, a young firebrand called Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was writing controvesial canons in B-flat major, including “Leck mich im Arsch”. A literal translation of the song’s title and lyrics into English would be “Lick me in the arse”. A more idiomatic translation would be “Kiss my arse”, or even “Get f*cked”.

You couldn’t buy a gun in the 60s without a flower sticking out the end of it. In the 80s, the punk movement pushed the anti-establishment message, and to this day, punk is one of the more opinionated genres of music.

But does that mean we have to listen? As Fat Mike from NoFX says, “Would you rather be fed bullshit From some 20-something, makeup wearing, popstar?”

NoFX, for example, have been making music for 20 years. From “Don’t Call Me White” about reverse racism, to “Idiot Son of An Asshole” about George Bush Jnr, they write music that not only rocks out, but makes you think about the society in which we live.

The problem we have today is that people are too easily manipulated. We live amongst a population that does not think for themselves, that buys what they are told to buy, and believes everything they see on TV.

I’ve been more interested than ever about the upcoming U.S. elections. What is absolutely fascinating is how, not just musicians, but B-list “celebrities” and reality TV “stars” are all falling in behind one candidate or another.

My favourite celeb blog, The Superficial, has been following one story closely:

Heidi Montag gets political - At long last Heidi Montag has endorsed a candidate for president. “I’m a Republican and McCain has a lot of experience,” she explains. Now I know this isn’t a political site and I’m not here to make comments such as “Oh, wow, a rich white blonde with fake tits and the IQ of a Frosted Mini Wheat votes Republican. Who saw that coming?” That’s not my bag.

John McCain: Heidi Montag is a ‘talented actress’ - John McCain is seriously, I can’t fucking believe it, actually running with the Heidi Montag endorsement. Clearly he’s never seen The Hills despite exclusively telling Time’s Swampland Blog yesterday that he never misses an episode. To prove my point, McCain called Heidi a “very talented actress” on Morning Joe today.

Heidi Montag isn’t registered to vote (GASP!) - Heidi Montag squeezed her fake tits into the political arena last weekby endorsing Senator John McCain. Since then the folks over at Radar Online have made a startling discovery: Heidi isn’t registered to vote.

Democracy in the United States has become a farce. It is clearly a popularity contest, with the richest buying the air-time and celeb-backing to manipulate the population into forgetting the issues and voting with their heart, not their head. If celebs want to help, talk about the issues! Get people thinking for themselves, and not following like sheep.

The first line-up announcement was made on Triple J this morning. Initial thoughts: much better than last year’s first announcement, but again devoid on any single band that I’d push my own grandmother out of the line to get the last ticket for…

This year, those lucky enough (or skillful enough - more about that later) to get tickets will get to see: Vampire Weekend, Devo, Sigur Ros, Wolfmother, Gyroscope, The Living End, The Presets, Tricky, Cold War Kids, Pnau, The Vines, The Wombats, The Grates, Operator Please, Ben Lee, Scribe, The Music, The Fratellis, The Panics, Van She, Mstrkrft, Band Of Horses, Lightspeed Champion, The Gin Club, Laura Marling, and Brown Birds from Windy Hill.

If you went to Splendour last year, or even if you tried and failed to get tickets, you’ll remember what a fiasco the online ticketing system was. At 9am, everyone was put in a virtual line for tickets, then thousands of people getting kicked out of said line when the servers crashed and had to join the line again from the end. Madness and frustration!

Except if you, like me and a handful of others, were already in the line at 8:30am. I had my tickets booked at 9:03am and I could go about my day, avoiding the high blood pressure and throbbing supraorbital vein. I’m still undecided as to whether I should impart this knowledge onto you, dear reader, as if too many people find out about it, I might miss out myself! Let’s wait until ticket info is announced.